On the road to beautiful...

Until He calls me home, I'll go DEEPER STILL

2011-06-13T14:38:00.002-04:00

This past weekend I had a phenomenal time bonding, worshipping, and learning from the very best with the very best! The new church I have been attending, Parkside, has been more than a blessing to my growth and journey with God! I have had the privilege of listening to Priscilla Shirer and Beth Moore, not only that but I was able to learn from these two women in an abundant and life changing way! Now, I don't mean that it was crazy intense (although some points really were) but it was something so simple and small that will be used in a great way in my daily life. If you know me well, then you already know that I look to Beth Moore as a (distant but close) mentor! It never fails that whether I'm watching her from my computer or a seat in an auditorium called Freedom Hall that I learn from her in any circumstance that I'm in with life! If you have never heard any of her stuff I would highly suggest that you at least give her a try! She is such a blessing upon my life! Priscilla Shirer is a new leader that I will looked towards, just like Beth! Priscilla is another woman who tells it how it is and teaches straight from the heart! She is also a mini comedian while she gets to speak her mind!

Here are a couple pictures from this weekend... not the best quality but no picture will ever capture what these women did for Parkside's Women Ministry this weekend! Thank you so much for your love and Christ filled hearts ladies, and for all that you've taught me and will continue to teach!

to speak or not to speak... is that the question?

2011-05-31T21:45:00.000-04:00

There are parts of this topic that I myself have personally been effected by and other parts in which I am still tormented on a daily basis with. I hate that is has taken me this long to realize how strong my passion is about this until someone asked me this weekend, "... don't you think the Church should speak out about this more?" Ever since I was asked I can't get it off my mind and it quite frankly has made me angry that I haven't said anything or that the Church doesn't say anything because it is a "touchy" subject or that people are just too afraid to offend someone. I've come to realize that if I do offend someone then it's probably a good thing because they've actually thought about the subject.

Body dysmorphic disorder. Anorexia nervosa. Low self-esteem. Bulimia nervosa. Low self-confidence. Eating disorders. Depression. Body image issues.

Some of us deal with only one, some of us have dealt with more than one, and sometimes more than one at the same time. It is a common attack among women, especially those in the teenage years. For me it seems like it has effected me my whole life. I have tried to cover my problem with so many things and no matter how much my weigh drops down, I will never, NEVER beat my problem if I don't ask for help... God's help. I am not, nor is anyone else, made to crave food. I am made to crave Christ. How is that so hard to understand for girls these days? Why is it so hard for me to get it in my head?

'On the road to beautiful' is a journey that will not end until I reach my goal of Christ, in the flesh, face to face. The actual song "On the Road to Beautiful" is one of my favorite worship songs but one of the lines that resonates with me the most is "teach me how to cling to you, with all my life and all my love..." It is something that I really truly desire for my life and I would love for it to be seen from everyone except for just me. I would hate to have to say that these issues are something that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life but I sure hope I won't have to! It's something that has gotten the best of me at times and has most definitely won but there are also days when I realize the only way to win is to give it completely over to Christ! He is my Champion, He is Life!

So lets not stop talking about this with our children, friends, and youth. Let them be offended, let them know how much you care. Now, I'm not saying to ask them about it every day but to just show them that you care... speak truth in love! This is something that should be talked about and you would be surprised as how many people deal with it. I'm sure this won't be my last post on this subject so stay tuned friends! For now... enjoy your journey! :)

wow... it's been over a year... oops!

2011-05-16T11:30:00.000-04:00

Yikes, over a year since my last post! That is just utter craziness and cannot happen again! After updating my new little summer design, I'm back in full swing and ready to enjoy the things I once loved... again! :) I'm sure you've missed my little postings of thoughts and updates that are of non-essential importance haven't you? Well I'm back to share some recent thoughts and more of my passion which God has placed in my heart.

It hasn't been easy, but when is it ever been easy? Working in jobs we don't like only because the pay is quite hefty and the reward is... well there is no reward, just a bunch of monetary things that quite honestly get us no where. It doesn't matter if I buy the "right" clothes, find the "right" guy, find the "right" job, make the "right" impression. In all reality "right", like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder; which really can make things complicated. When it comes down to right and wrong, what is the truth? When it comes to determining whether someone is beautiful or hideous, what is the truth? Now, some would say that giving you the answer would be like taking away the prize at the end of the line but for me and you, it's just the next piece to the puzzle. The truth that I have found relevant in my life is Jesus Christ. A faith that has been around since far beyond my comprehension. Jesus Christ is the one and only source of truth in my life. So this leads me into my next line of business...

Beauty. As I was driving home one night, not too long ago, I was thinking of this and the title of my blog and also how I hadn't posted in a long time and how I should probably make a new goal of posting more often... anyway... I was thinking "hmmm, why did I ever choose the title 'On the Road to Beautiful...' apart from the fact that it is an awesome worship song?" Then it struck me that it was never about me becoming beautiful, I have always been beautiful. Before my Father made me I was already beautiful. It was the part where I had to accept it that got me to the title of this blog. Now, if you know me or if you even know me at all, you know that the word "beautiful" and me have never been put into a sentence and come from my mouth in my life. Maybe in consecutive sentences but most certainly not the same. Amazingly enough, I'm going to try to change that. See, for those of you who don't know me all that well, I have struggled with body image issues and just myself in general. I was the girl who didn't really like to go outside and get dirty or play outside, I liked to stay in and play with my Mom and watch whatever was on t.v. I also was the girl, and still am a little bit, who vowed for her father's attention whenever she could get it. I was a girl who lost the translation of the word beauty.

Beauty. In my life today, that word is being redefined and redeemed from the one who stole it away by mind games. Now, I'm not saying that it isn't a struggle and that it will go away instantly. I do believe however that I will struggle for the rest of my life to get my mind in a spot where I don't have to worry about the word "beauty" every single hour of every single day. My hopes are to walk by a mirror one day and not wince at it or to roll my eyes at it but to really give God back the blessings and the glory for giving me a perfectly capable and (semi) healthy body. No longer will I vow for my father's attention, but I will praise my Father for a wonderful and fearful work He has done in me and to Him will be all the glory, honor, and praise.

But for right now, in this present moment I'm just a princess of the Most High King who is on the road to beautiful...

I will praise you in the valley, and I will make it to the mountain top!

2010-04-12T23:20:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been on a plane and seen the white fluffy clouds that you can just imagine all the angels play around on. They're so white that they reflect the suns light but when you get closer to the ground as you're descending and the other side is gloomy and dark. It's like in time, in our lives, you know that on the other side of the clouds there is light, there HAS to be. And soon enough we will be in the clear, on the other side of the clouds!

Didn't your mom ever tell you whatever come up must come back down?

After going thru our all-church journey with just over 60 other churches in the Cincinnati area, I seemed to be in a plane, on the other side, and then I started to descend. Into the gloomy mess. My goal for all of 'lent' (even though I am not catholic, it has always seemed to run it's course as a tradition in our family to give something up or replace a 'bad habit' for lent) was to get up and spend time with THE creator of the universe, my God and my Savior. Yet as the week before Easter came, it seemed that everything and anything came into my way to get in between or in front of our relationship. Whatever it was, I let it. I let my newly found love for Christ, one that seemed more intense than the one before, drop. Right out of my hands and onto the floor. My heart and flesh cry out for that intense relationship, that true and loving communion. Everything within me feels dry and wounded, longing to be saved and swept up into His arms of love once again.

...and no matter how many times this happens, He always takes me back, right back to where I long to be. Will I let Him this time, or will I still be stubborn and try to resist thinking that I can do it on my own? Will you let Him? He desires that intimacy with you, whatever you're looking off at and not up at Him, it doesn't EVEN compare to His surpassing greatness.

I desire 'this', whatever 'this' is I will find it! I WILL FIND IT AGAIN!

You know: you're becoming British/you miss home when...

2009-07-16T17:20:00.000-04:00

First off, let me start with... I only have 30 more days til I'm back home! Everything feels better and better since I'm on the downhill part of my trip! It has been a struggle and continuous at that! Struggle as far as my relationship with my Lord and Savior! Oh how He loves me and I lose sight of that way too often! It just feels good to know that soon I can take what I've learned back to my small group girls at home, to my family and friends, to my church, to my future ministry, and everywhere else in my life! When we're children of God we have to share in the blessings as well as the sufferings. That is more than evident to me in my time that I have been here! So much has been happening at home that I have had to leave behind and it has been hard but well worth it!

Without further delay... You know you're becoming British when:

You drink more tea then the guy from Liverpool that drinks it by the gallons! I mean I know I liked tea, but I didn't know I liked it that much! Everyone is always enamored with how much Richard the Gardener (a.k.a. the guy from Liverpool) can drink! It is said that he only drinks water, like literal water, only five times a year! Seriously, this guy drinks it morning, noon, and night! The other day he was passing through and said to me, "Wow I'm impressed!" To which I replied, "With what, my tea drinking skills?" And he said, "Yes, I would challenge you to a tea drinking contest but I don't think I will because I'm afraid I'd lose!" Thought you'd be proud mom!!!!! : )
You start using Northern Irish slang, as in... class, what's the craic, oh aye, what about ya! And when ever you said them you have a slight Irish "twang"! Especially when you get back home!
You start calling dinner, "tea".

You know you miss home/NKY when:

You will go great lengths to just get a cup of ICE! Seriously... they don't drink anything with ice here, granted it's always cold, but come on... everyone needs a little ice every now and then!
You listen to specific kinds of music to remind you of times you had at home, and dreaming of the day you'll get to make new ones! Especially Rascal Flatts, can I get an Amen!?!!!
You will wear a ton of layers on somedays because you think it's freezing but everyone else is wearing t-shirt and shorts!

This season of my life has been the most trying and, quite honestly, horrible! I miss home everyday, I miss my family and friends. For numerous reason's it has been so hard to be here! From friends having life struggles when they count on you to be there, to struggling with God and letting Him come in and clean out your heart! I am most certainly on the road to beautiful...

Keep PUSHing (Pray Until Something Happens) I will be doing the same!

P.S. Here is a picture of me, letting you guys know I actually did climb the mountain! : )

"...be the center of our lives, oh Christ be the place we fix our eyes..."

2009-06-06T09:42:00.001-04:00

"We lift our eyes to heaven and we wrap our lives around Your life..."

Can it not get any better than this? This is what we should be striving for. How is it then, that we get so 'sidetracked' with this so called life? Is the reality of hell not enough to scare us into saving the lost? As I sit here in my office this afternoon, with a moment of peace and quiet (finally, and may it not last too long or be to short) I finally realized that I should be mourning the lost, literally mourning the lost. We all should. So I asked myself, do I? Do I really care that these children I am called to serve and seek, do I mourn for EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM? Even through the pain and the hurt, do I mourn for them? Through the struggles that I am facing, do I love them as Christ loves me? Obviously I have been struggling with a lot of questions. This summer is nothing like last summer. Conflict after conflict. Argument after argument. Battle after battle. Struggle after struggle. Spiritual demon after spiritual demon.

I found myself looking at Chelsea Westwood's facebook. Trying somehow, someway to convince myself that she had just given up facebook because it is such a distraction to us all. Chelsea is not someone I need to be mourning for, it is the children that sit around, infront of, and beside me at night when I 'supervise' the team that is currently in. Do I mourn for them as I did for Chelsea? No. Quite honestly and boldly, NO. I think about it, but I don't mourn for it. I pray now, that the only thing I strive for is that every person I come into contact with gets to know Christ on the level I have been able to know Him at and even greater. So this week as I prepare for Lakeside to come in (praise Jesus!!!) I pray that I will have a convicted heart for every child I come into contact with, and that the Lord will give me the words, the right words to speak to them.

I contemplated a long time if I should share how I am feeling with all of you. I came to the conclusion that I would be fake if I didn't share my stuggles with you. Homesickness is the worse feeling, especially here, especially for me. This summer is going to be a continuous struggle for me to get through, when all I want to do is go home and see all of my friends and family. PUSH. Pray Until Something Happens. We as Christians a lot of the times seem to put on the front that we always have it ALL together. We, out of anyone, out of any group of people, should be saying, WE NEVER HAVE IT TOGETHER, nor will we ever. That is where Jesus comes in. We are made clean, restored, renewed in Christ. Because He came to save me, to save you. I need God, we need God. He came as one of us and died THE MOST humiliating death.

As I just looked to see how cold it was here in Northern Ireland, it's finally back to normal weather, a fantastic high of 55 and a low of 47, which we're only one degree off of that right now. Oh and might I mention the rain, of course it rains here!

Freedom. By the blood of Christ. We are free. We are loved. We are enough, just in who we are. Christ didn't want us any other way. Broken and miserable is a perfect way to come to someone who can make you whole and happy. And only in Him can that be found.

So the next time you're standing in line and the person behind you starts conversation or vice versa, look at them straight in the eye and think, if I don't witness to this person or start some type of a relationship, this person might go to hell and the blood will be upon my shoulders. (Ezekiel 3:18,19)

"find in Me thine all in all"

2008-07-10T08:06:00.000-04:00

Well guys, I have some great news!

DARREN IS HOME! I went to see him on Monday and he was lying on the couch just eager to get up and do something, but also whipped out at the same time! We stayed and talked to his 'mum' for a little and then prayed over him! His mum is so nice and loving! I have recently become close with some of his sisters and they're just my favorites, I know I shouldn't have favorites, but I can't help it! Anyways, Darren is good and at home safe and sound! Now we just need prayers for his full recovery and for patience for his family to be able to withstand the extreme crakyness of him wanting to get up and do everything himself or going out to play!

Thats it for now! Talk to you guys soon!

Love and miss you all!

...You fill my life, there's nothing else I need!

2008-07-05T09:39:00.000-04:00

Hey guys,

Just here to give you a Darren update! You're prayers have been amazing! Darren's skull and vertebrae are both fine, but he did have to have skin graphs done. When he was hit, there was a huge chunk of skin down his leg that was taken out. So they did the graphs and now they're just waiting to see if he needs plastic surgery. My friend Ewelina described it to me as someone taking a spoonful of skin right up his leg, it was that deep! So, thank you again for all of your prayers, I will let you know when he is out of the hospital! It is expected that he'll be out on Monday but he will probably still be very sore so continue to pray for him and his family! One for him because he'll probably want to get up and do everything he possibly can as soon as possible and two for his family to be patient with him!

Thanks again guys!

God bless!

so i'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned...

2008-07-03T19:14:00.000-04:00

Hey all,

Just a quick update in my crazy month-long madness of two teams coming in and out!

Our Jamaican team arrived the other day and we started 'working' in Newcastle today! It was an extraordinary afternoon until we got the call... the call that could possibly change our lives forever, especially those who live here. Today after our mini bus left and the other one lagged behind, we reached the house and got a call almost immediately after we walked in. It was Ben Haas, one of the most awesome leaders in Newcastle. I was the one that answered the phone but kept my cool as did he as he told me a shortened version of the story... 'umm, the team is going to be late, Darren was hit.' My only reaction was to stand with my mouth wide open and hoping to God that I didn't have to be the one to tell Richie, needless to say I had to tell him. Darren had been hanging onto the back of the mini bus just fooling around but once he let go there was a car coming the other way. There was no time to react, or at least I hope there wasn't. Darren was hit head on... I remember him being the first one to come up to us today and say.... 'hey, you said you'd be here at three, not HALF three!' That was his way of saying, I'm excited that you're here, so next time be here on time! About two hours ago Richie got a call that Darren's condition is worse than we hoped for! He is only six years old and has a bright future ahead of him and we hope to keep it that way! He might have a fractured skull and something wrong with his vertebrae, pretty much he could be paralyzed. So what I want to ask is that I could have prayers please... LOTS OF THEM!!!! I know Darren and his family would love that and would greatly appreciate it!!!! I'll keep you posted!

Thank you for all that you've done for me... I love you all!

God bless!

... Dear Elyse, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!

2008-06-26T04:03:00.000-04:00

Oh my goodness... You won't believe the story I have to tell about the day I turned 19!

First, I woke up to a text message on my phone saying to look up my name on youtube.com and I would find many video's dedicated to me from some of my closest friends in the states! You can do the same if you'd like to... Just go to youtube.com and in the search engine put, elyse purtilar. So after I had tears in my eyes from just hearing Jackie Hart say "I wish I was with you, I love you, I miss you, MUAH!!!!" : ) It made me smile throughout the whole day! So after that I got some nice cards and birthday wishes throughout the day I had a delivery from the florist from my family and they are beautiful lilies, which are my favorites!!!!! And my family didn't even know!

Yesterday we had to go throughout Downpatrick and tour where we're going to help out the next team since it all new to us! So as we were touring, I was naive enough to not notice that my two best friends here were not with us and "cleaning" the Oasis! So we toured and then we all got back and just finished up the work we had needed to finish up and then Richie took me out for coffee at this new and amazing coffee place called KREM!!!!! It was so, so good! And we saw Ben Haas there, who was also in on it?! Like seriously, everyone but me knew... I'm pretty sure there are people who I don't even know that knew about it... UGH, whatever, anyways! After that Richie "needed" to get stuff for the tuck shop up at crosspoint. So we went to get that and then he got a call from "John" saying that the alarm was going off at Oasis and we had to go check it out! So we went, and while I was at the store I got a 2 liter of water because I was so thirsty and I thought that it would be a really good weapon after the fact... So we get to Oasis and we walk in and go through the kitchen and I see that Cynthia's purse is sitting on the table and I said to Richie as I walk into the coffee bar (which for some reason Richie was practically jogging to get into the coffee bar), "Hmm... why is Cynthia's purse on the table?" As I walk into the coffee bar I hear people screaming "SURPRISE!!!!!" and balloons everywhere! So there is my family from Northern Ireland all standing around a table with more lilies on them and candles! It was so overwhelming that I started shaking and almost started crying that I turned around and started to walk out! One cause I almost crapped my pants, yes, my pants, and two because I was so pissed that it was kept as such a good secret!!!! UGHH!!! So as I'm about to walk out shaken... oh and might I add that all my pictures I have glasses on because I had pink eye! Happy Birthday to me... anyway, Richie pulled me back in and I just stood at the same spot with my mouth open and almost took the huge 2 liter or water and hit every single one of them! It really was the best birthday I have ever had, and it will never be topped again! So after I calmed down, a wee bit, I realized that Kayla (one of my best friends) made me homemade manicotti for my dinner and Cynthia made me a 7-layer bean dip which are both my favorites and so good, her dip even had guacamole in it!!!!!! MY FAVE!!!! So, Richie prayed for the dinner, and I cried cause it was really sweet! I know, Richie... sweet?!? I don't know how it worked either but it did! : ) So I opened up my card and present and we ate with an Irish landscape in the background and then we watched football on the big screen and just hung out! Then we went back to Murlough, cleaned everything up and then Richie, Ewelina, Kayla, and I went to hang out for a bit, then I came home to read all of my messages on the computer, talked to my parents and went to bed! And that is the story about the day I turned 19! It was soooooo great! It was the best birthday I have ever had in my life! I'm pretty sure nothing will ever top it!!!! EVER!!!!

Thanks so everyone who helped and especially to Ewelina and Kayla for putting it all together, and Richie for being the biggest CHEEKY MONKEY!!! : )

... hey, hey, hey GOODBYE!

2008-06-19T05:40:00.000-04:00

Lakeside is gone. Now it feels so weird that they're not here! It's kinda crazy, I don't here John playing 'Beautiful Disaster' anymore, or Chase, John, and Kyle playing 'Through and Through' (The Intern Song) or the laughter of Christian and Todd trying to make a stupid joke sound hilarious! We had an amazing week with them, Kayla and I that is. They were my first and my best team ever! I don't care who comes next, they were great! These kids here responded so well to them being here! They even had one kid decided he needed Christ as his saviour! YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!! Cool... I know and oh my goodness were we happy! It was bittersweet though, for me at least, because it just reminded us of how much our work really helps but it is really all God. We just have to be willing to let Him work through us, because neither he who plants or waters is nothing... it is all God! So really what I'm trying to say is that our work here is really nothing compared to His power for His glory!

So it is sad to see Lakeside go, but happy for you guys cause now you get an update! YAY! I know some people have been checking it everyday, well get excited cause today's the day that I have finally had a chance to breathe and write you all (I'm sorry wrong terminology... ya'll) So... it was crazy and exciting with my first team here! I loved it, especially having my family here (Lakeside) and we just had a blast working with the kids and going site-seeing! It has been unusually weird weather here... it's been so SUNNY! So I have been pretty spoiled to the point in which I really don't like when it rains!

Anyways, I have been doing the normal kids club and drop-ins, which is so much fun but frustrating at times. God has it all planned out though but like I said, it is nothing to do with us, it is all God and we have to keep that in mind.

Something that I thought was really cool and I thought you all would want to know is that while Lakeside was here we would split up after a girls group thing and just have a one-on-one time with them which was really cool to see them open up and actually look like they were somewhat interested! But we told them that there were people that we knew back at home that had no clue who they were that were praying everyday for them... when we asked them how they felt of course some of their responses were, "weird" or "crazy" but one in particular just made me feel so incredibly thankful for all of you guys... her reply was "it makes me feel HAPPY!" Which I told them that some people that I had sent letters to I hadn't even talked to in a long time but they cared and loved about them and didn't know a thing about them but they prayed for each and every one of them and it really was a shock and awe experience for them! So thank you, your prayers have not gone unseen and our mission gets one more step closer all the time!

Again, I am so sorry it has taken me so long to write you all! It has been pretty crazy around here especially with a team in! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I appreciate everything you are doing for me and these children! They really don't have a clue who Jesus Christ really is, so just pray for them to keep their hearts open and willing to hear what God has to say to them and for them to be able to feel God's love for them and even our love for them!

my first amazing weekend!!!

2008-06-03T05:52:00.000-04:00

I just sat and read some of my old blogs, WOW some of those aren't my feelings anymore! I was so hurt and so distracted that I couldn't see what it was that God had planned for me! When I said I was waiting for the man I thought I was supposed to marry... I went... WOW I'm only 18!!!! Crazy I know!

Anyways, this weekend went really well! I love being here! I met so many new people and I love the experiences I have with meeting new people! I went to this youth service at night, at the same place I went to church in the morning and it was so good! Then I just hung out with friends and met some really cool people! It was all around a good day! In the afternoon we went up to the drop-in at Crosspoint... it went really well, Richie spoke and it really spoke to me also about why I'm really here! It was always in the back of my head but it started to surface when he spoke! He was talking to the kids and saying, I just want this to stick, because when there comes a point in your lives when you realize you need more than alcohol and 'fun' in your life, hopefully you will remember some of the things that have gone on here at Crosspoint! It was just really amazing and I love it!

Fully relying on God is all we can do, we can teach and teach and teach but God is the one to put the call on their heart! So for now, trust in Him to lead you to where He wants you to go! It's your life, make the most of every moment!

Talk to you soon!

end of an amazing week...

2008-05-31T17:14:00.000-04:00

This has been an amazing week so far! Getting here was rough but the process, from my dinner with friends and family last weekend to today have been unforgettable! Overall the week has gone slow since I have been here. Not a whole lot to do, we usually have a lot when the teams are here with us, then it gets crazy! Everyone tells me to be thankful of the quiet time I am getting, but I say, "bring on the teams!!!!" I'm so ready for everyone to get here! Especially my friend Kayla who is interning with me for a month, I know it will go fast when she gets here!

Today it was so nice that I got to sit out on the beach! It was so warm and nice!

Time is flying by so fast! I was thinking the other day as I stared out the window, "what am I going to do when I have to leave!? How can I leave?!" But then I remembered I have two months, sixty-one days to be exact! So I think I will be okay!!!!

There are a lot of things I am learning around the house, it is so big and there is so much to manage around here! It's crazy, but I love it! When I pulled up the house with Richie when we got here on Wednesday I just wanted to go hug it, I know - you're thinking, she's weird! But if you only knew the experiences you wouldn't think I was so weird after all! - ANYWAYS, so I wanted to hug the house and I was telling Richie that I couldn't believe that I was here! It was all SO UNREAL!!!! I still can't believe it, it's like a dream! It is so crazy! One thing I will definitely miss tomorrow morning is going to the church I have been going to back home with my best friend and her family! Oh gosh, have fun guys! Enjoy it double for me tomorrow!!!

Well... I think that's all for today! Talk to you guys soon!!! Love you all and miss you! See you in no time!!! Keep up the prayers, they're helping loads!

All my love and God bless!

safe and sound...

2008-05-29T12:27:00.000-04:00

I have arrived!!!! Well actually, I arrived yesterday... but this was the first chance I could get to write you guys! So the plane ride was not the best, but I'm here and thats all that matters! Everything came to the house with me, nothing was missing or broken, just how I packed it, it came! I made it out of the airport and onto the bus just perfectly... I had no trouble getting where I was supposed to be, especially being brave and smart enough to ask questions! Then Richie, the director (a.k.a. my boss) came to pick me up and we got a coffee, which is SO much better then Starbucks! But I didn't feel good throughout my whole entire trip over here, it wasn't nerves, I know that. I think it was just that my body was adjusting, it knew what was coming and it said... "alrighty then, I'm gonna treat you bad since you're screwing with me!" And I'm really excited that I didn't yack in Richie's car, cause I was pretty sure I was going to!

Anyways, I'm having a great time already and its almost end of day two, I just have to go to Crosspoint tonight, which is the nightly youth hangout thing! I'm so excited to see people from last year, but I'm kinda scared that they won't remember me. But oh well, it's okay!

I miss all of you, but I have to keep looking at it in this way: it's not like you're not going to be there when I get back!

To a few of my IAW ladies, I love you and miss you so much, KEEP IT UP! I don't want to recognize you when I get back! I want a shock and awe effect! You girls are amazing and beautiful, I hope you remember to wake up on a daily basis and feel that! Look at what you've accomplished!

Time for tea! (thats what they call dinner over here!)

Love and miss you all!

Hopefully you all have gotten your letter! Keep up the work, crush the devil! Have fun in the nice summer weather!!!

A picture worth a thousand words... and there's over 500!!!! Thats a lot of words!

2008-05-09T11:02:00.000-04:00

Okay, so, I have all of my pictures finally up from last years trip to Northern Ireland!!!! I know, FINALLY!!!! It's pretty awesome too!!! God's creation is amazing and all you can do is stand in awe when you're over there!!! So take a peep... I know some of the pictures are blurry, I had a new camera so it's not my fault! :) hehe okay well maybe it is just a little bit, but it was being difficult! It's all going so fast, I only have a few more weeks! I almost want to go now, only because I'm so excited for the journey I will be taking for God!

Keep praying, it's working!

Love you all and God bless,

Elyse

My site for pictures would be nice to have wouldn't it... hahaha, finals really do take a toll!!!!

www.elysepurtilar.shutterfly.com

40 days

2008-04-18T19:37:00.000-04:00

Yes, that is right... 40 more days until I start another journey on my own! Am I nervous, scared, anxious, excited, ecstatic, amazed, awe-struck, or worried you may ask.... uhhh YEAH!!!! All of those combined into one! Now I'm not too sure what you would call that but it would probably be something like nervo-sc-anxio-cit-ati-maz-awe-orried! Yeah, thats right! I'm NERVOSCANXIOCITATIMAZAWEORRIED! Yeah, okay, I know Chet, I'm a nerd and don't deny it, you love it! Cause thats just who I am and I am fine with it!

So anyways, back on topic... leaving! So I got a new MacBook so that I can see people when I'm gone... so my screen-name is dixieswim16 and I wanna see some faces people!!!! Oh, and I was thinking, how cool would it be for me to just walk outside and just be like, "oh hey, look at NORTHERN IRELAND!!!! Freakin' amazing I know!!! Don't have to tell me twice, obviously!"

P.S. I'm still single, more than I was before (long story, don't ask, unless you want to chat on AIM with me :) haha) and it feels so amazing! I'm tired of best friends trampling all over me and not giving a flying hoot! Thats right, they don't give a flying hoot, who ever knew! Ugh, and boys in general, yeah I'm just going to fast... well technically I have been fasting, but it has been really hard! But "it's only life"! Nicki knows what I'm talkin' about! Oh and thanks for the boots for NI Nick, I will think of you every single time I look at them and wear them! Anyways, yet again, where was I...

Ah, yes! SINGLE is my middle name and I'm so proud of that! (if you can't tell!)

Let us see.... what else... I finally declared my Athletic Training major... well PRE AT! So exciting, and frustrating! And... thats about it, oh I went to Florida for SB08 with mi madre y mi abuela! Loved it!!!!!

Alright, I have to go grocery shopping, yes, I go grocery shopping, I do live by myself now!!! I know, WEIRD!!!! But I really love it!!! Talk to you guys in a little!

Bumper Stickers!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-28T18:12:00.000-05:00

I know, I know... You're thinking, 'why in the hell is she writing about bumper stickers?' Well, I have come to know that these little stickers are 'pick-me-ups' for the times in my life that I hit a really low point. Like right now. But hear me out... this is what it said... "I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe less so you can only learn to trust yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together!" Good, right? I know, I know... now you're thinking, 'man, I'm glad she wrote this!' This was written by Marilyn Monroe... I know, it blew me away too! So, my point in writing this is to update you on my life... cause it has been a while! I have always been the person who believes and lives by the works and words of God... like, everything happens for a reason! People have changed recently in my life, no matter how hard I didn't want to get hurt by yet another best friend, change is always inevitable! My best friend, who I lived about 5 months of my life with, just wasn't the person who I thought she was. It still breaks my heart to this day but God is mending that together! And then, the man I though I was supposed to wait to marry, also broke my heart. Despite me telling him that I was pulling away because I didn't want to get hurt by another 'little boy' again... needless to say, he turned out to be another one of those 'little boys'! And another one of my friends who I took a 'break' from told me that breaks were childish and that this little 'break' could be permanent, I do really miss her but my life is so less dramatic than it was. So now, I'm just waiting for something else to fall apart so that everything else can fall into place. I miss each and every one of these people but it is time to let them go. My best friend, Aubrea, once told me - "if you love something, let it go; if it comes back it is yours forever!" So if it happens then it will. God will take care of me, I think my Northern Ireland trip is coming up for a reason. On and P.S. I'm going to Northern Ireland for two whole beautifully amazingly awesome months!!!!!!!!!! I just get relief talking about it!
I hate realizing that "I'm still in love with who I wish you were", 'little boys' are SO dumb! I just have to completely trust God to take care of me and wait for Him to bring 'my pursuer' to me!
Love and God bless!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If only life had a fast forward button...

2007-12-09T15:08:00.001-05:00

So much has happened and it has happened so fast! So many ups and downs recently in my life and all that I can do is hold on to God in seasons like these. One of my friends just continues to bring me down in life and I think it is time to let her go. It is going to be hard but it has to be done. My best friend is not sure what he wants me to be to him, more or less, and I just wish life had a fast forward button so that I can know what our answer is to each other. My roommate who is my best friend, now more than ever, feels more of an aquaintence and I just want things to be better. I passed out in my bathroom a week ago and I am not feeling the greatest now. I have been having dizzy spells to the point of loosing almost all of my control of my body. I am stressed out because of finals and at this point I don't know that I really care if I pass or fail. I just want to be home, I want things to feel right, I want to be with him. BUT, it is always in God's time and in God's hands. It is not my own decision and it most certainly not his and not yours. Do not define life by what you want out of it, define it by what God wants to give you. I don't want to go home, I need to be home but I don't want to be there. I cannot explain the feelings I have right now... I don't know that God has me exactly where He wants me yet. I guess we will have to see! Transferring just might be in my future... you never know what God is going to do next!

Freshman 15

2007-09-27T14:10:00.000-04:00

It has always been said that when freshman go off to college they always seem to gain about 15 pounds, if not more! Well I am here to tell you that I will not be gaining that 15 pounds, as a matter of fact I will be loosing that 15 pounds! It is one of the many goals I have as a new college student!

This week I finally got to my weight watchers meeting, with my new leader Cheyrl came an interesting meeting! I had a lady who made it to goal, now all she has to do is "weight" out the six weeks to see if she can become a lifetime member! It's so encouraging to see people like that who are determinded. I'm telling you right now that when I make it to my goal weight (to loose 100 pounds) I will not give up, because then I'm free! Free of paying that is, not of loosing weight. It has been a continuous struggle for me and it forever will be, but now that I know what I'm doing and having the mindset of "I CAN" then I can accomplish this with Christ by my side!

God has been doing some amazing things in my life that I just can't explain! It is absolutely amazing at how great our God really is! Along with the rough summer that my family and I have had to go through, God has given me an amazing gift; to be at peace with death! I fear no evil, for He is with me! He is with me, until the end of time!

My Aunt had been asking me about a song that, at the end, had a little child reciting bible verses. She would say to me, "It goes like this, 'the Lord is my... blah, blah, blah and He will be exalted,' do you know what song I'm talking about?" I would always respond with laughter and wonder saying, "No, I don't have a clue what you're talking about, haha, sorry!" Until last week, I found the song! It was such an exciting moment, I had been feeling very down, it was right after my great uncle passed and it just gave me so much encouragement! The song was by Lincoln Brewster, the title is Everlasting God. It is a beautiful song and in a time of death and grieving I found comfort and strength! God had held me in His arms, I had wanted to be strong for Him and not let him see my hurt, yet He knew and felt my pain. I can just hear Him saying now, "here my child, this is for you; because I know and love you, I'm giving you this gift so that you will know just how much I love you!" Simply... amazing!

God has also put some things on my heart to help me fully understand the plans He has for me! Being single just looks like it's in the cards for me right now, I am at peace with that because God is my all. I most certainly do not need a human male to satisfy my wants and needs. If I give my all, it says, then the desires of my heart will become God's and God will give me those desires. It gets hard to listen to God somedays and others are just so easy! He wants me to give Him my all, because He gave His all for me. THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE LOVES ME! He loves me, He loves me more than anything else because He created me and because I am His. I am His bride, I am His child, I am His love, I am His passion! I AM HIS! By God's grace I am saved and by His will and strength I will remain single until He brings me more than a man!

Oh, and by the way, I lost 6.2 pounds at Weight Watchers. That is covering the whole first month I've been here! Kim, my leader from NKY, you will never be forgotten, you are the one who has helped me this far. Now I have flown away from your WW nest! So far, so good!

Love to all and God bless!

Suite 128

2007-09-15T00:49:00.000-04:00

Whoever said 'a picture is worth a thousand words' was a very wise person. Suite 128 is most definately a room worth more than a thousand words! Kristen, my amazing roommate and I decided to go to the greatest store on earth to find decorations for our dorm... THE DOLLAR STORE! If you ever need simple supplies, or just random things, The Dollar Store is where you should go! Kristen and I had a blast looking for things and even more fun putting it up! Hopefully you all will get to see them! It is so much fun!
I have to say I do miss one thing about home, it's something that every person can't live without! Something that everyone LOVES... I miss... THE FOOD!!!!! No lie! That's it, sorry family but I do love you guys so much! By food I guess I should add that I miss the whole experience, eating the fresh jalapeno's at Moe's with my favorite family ever (The Redfields) and the HUGE potatoes at McAlister's... I almost wish I still worked there! ALMOST, I said, don't forget to read that very important word!
I'm so very proud of how close my family have been just over the past 4 months! I'm proud to call you my family! I'm even more proud to say, "look at these pictures my family sent me!" Believe it or not, I'm the only one who has gotten pictures from my family! Yes, I did laugh at all of them, but even more I really just wanted to ask... WHO DOES THAT?! Just kiddin' I loved them!
I have already made two trips to JAMBA JUICE, with many more to come!!!! Just had to boast a little!
The Trinity campus is so amazing, I was so uncomfortable coming up there and now I don't know where else I would be! Anywhere and anytime I go somewhere I am always greeted by someone! I love all of my classes, it is hard though. I have gotten back two quizzes already with not so good grades already! I did get my first paper back with the highest grade on it (check plus)!!!!! I have been keeping up on my weightwatchers and working out, for anyone who would like to know! I am NOT giving up on myself! Those of you who are 'encouraged by me' (so my mom says, though I don't know that its true) have kept me motivated! So, thank you! This is my lifestyle, not a diet! My roommate forces me to go when I don't want to, which is a blessing to have someone to go with me and encourage me! I am actually like her personal trainer, whenever I do something she's says, "oh, what is that? Will you help me do 'this' or 'that'?" Or she will ask, "help me to eat better! PLEASE!" Of course I don't object from all of the times Ryan Meo kicked my butt! She does wake up sore somedays, as did I and I still do!

*Mom: Emi had to put her BOOTY back on, but we are decorating it for her so that it makes her feel good about wearing in an extra two weeks or so!

**To my family: I know this has come to a shock to our family once again but just remember to keep strong in your faith! I can't say that I am sad, about either of these deaths. Let me explain: I find it amazing to know that both of our men are up in heaven probably saying, "I BEAT YOU!" Which is no fair, because I so badly want to be with my Savior, Jesus Christ! I can't say I'm not sad, but what a blessing that they get to spend eternity with our SAVIOR! It may feel like an eternity for us down here, but it's only a second for them! Paul wrote to the Corinthians: ..."Death has been swallowed up in victory." "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But THANKS BE TO GOD! He gies up victory through our LORD JESUS CHRIST. Therefore, my dear bothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you... chapter 15 v. 54-58 (with my own revision)

I love you.